PUBLIC HOUSE

Having given up on the Brit special altogether, Jon instead turns his attentions to a fabled megademo and something that isn't PD at all. Take it away, Mr Tambourine Man! (Someone turn that Byrds tape off.)

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

I've always wanted to use that line. Actually, now I've used it, I feel a great void has opened in my soul. Oh, what to do now that my purpose in life has been fulfilled? (Stay off the plum duff, there's a good chap. Ed) Sorry. Anyway, on to something completely different. Something that's not PD at all, in fact. (But we couldn't think of any other place to put it. Tch. So it's ended up in Public House.) (But what is it? Readers' voices) Erm, it's homegrown game, actually. A stock market simulator. No, no, don't laugh - it's really quite jolly. Now let me introduce it properly.

Mini Stocks 128K
By Angelo Bagassi (available from 5 Thirlmere Ave, Lakeside Gardens, Onchan, Isle of Man for £4.95 including p+p - make cheques payable to A Bagassi. Please specify which model 128K you have. Phew, what a long bracket this has become).

You're a broker out to make a killing in an ordinary day's wheeling and dealing at the stock market. After you've grasped the fundamentals of moving huge amounts of cash around in exchange for shares in ostensibly clever companies, you'll have a fine old time with this sadly-too-long-to-go-on-the-tape-otherwise-we'd-have-had-it reader game.

Despite the plodding response and overall shabbiness of the presentation, it's a horribly involved and surprisingly gripping foray into the world of high finance. I mean, I like it, and I don't even own a pair of red braces. Obviously Mini Stocks is not a game you can sit down in front of and get stuck into straight away, but if you keep at it (and follow the instructions, natch) you'll soon find yourself bouncing up and down in your seat, shouting 'Sell! Sell! Sell!' and pretending your empty Milk Tray box is a carphone. A fine alternative to mindless action games and an equally fine alternative to post-Christmas dinner Trivial Pursuit. Ho ho ho!